


Tight-Knit Group Chat

by elderfisherprice



Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: Gen, Kinda Crack, basically a group chat fic, don't take this seriously, idk - Freeform, it's just random shit that I think they'd say, what the fuck is my life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-02-07 16:40:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12845244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elderfisherprice/pseuds/elderfisherprice
Summary: Just a group chat with the adults of FalsettosModern Day, ofc





	Tight-Knit Group Chat

**Author's Note:**

> Don't take this seriously. I'm used to writing dramatic, serious fics so this is kind of out of my comfort zone.

 

**_Whizzer has added Trina, Marvin, Charlotte, Cordelia, and Mendel to the conversation._ **

**Whizzer:** Why do they call it real estate? Is there such thing as fake estate?

**Marvin:** …

**Charlotte:** If you count scammers, yes.

**Cordelia:** Whiz, are you high again?

**Mendel:** Why am I here where’s my wife

**Trina:** Right here

**Mendel:** :3

**Whizzer:** No stop

**Mendel:** ?

**Whizzer:** The…The Straight

**Marvin:** Whizzer.

**Whizzer:** Marvin?

**Marvin:** Behave.

**Whizzer:** You’re not my Dad I don’t have to listen to you

**Cordelia:** But he does have ultimate control over whether or not you have sex tonight so

**Trina:** No stop

**Charlotte:** Cor’s got a point…

**Whizzer:** Sex? With Marvin? No.

**Whizzer:** I’m a Heterosexual Suburban Christian Man.

**Whizzer:** I only get on my knees to pray to the Lord.

**Marvin:** …

**Whizzer:** Dick? Pfft no I only put the body of Christ in my mouth.

**Cordelia:** He’s lucky he’s half catholic

**Charlotte:** Wait does that mean he’s cheating on Marvin with Jesus

**Marvin:** …

**Mendel:** I highly doubt that Whizzer is having a sexual relationship with Jesus Christ

**Cordelia:** ….Mendel…no…

**Whizzer:** Jesus is my side hoe sorry Marv

**Trina:** Really? Right in front of my salad?

**Marvin:** What the fuck is this conversation you are literally sitting right next to me Whizzer Brown

**Whizzer:** ;)

**Cordelia:** This chat went from Whizzer getting existential to sexual escapades with Jesus wow

**Mendel:** Dab on the haters

**_Whizzer has left the conversation._ **

**_Marvin has added Whizzer to the conversation._ **

**Marvin:** Why’d you leave?

**Whizzer:** Mendel got cringy and it physically hurt to witness it

**Charlotte:** Well this has been fun but I have work, so…

**_Charlotte has left the conversation._ **

**Trina:** Charlotte has the right idea

**Mendel:** TRINA DARLING PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME WITH THEM 

**Whizzer:** One of us

**Whizzer:** One of us

**Whizzer:** One of us

**Marvin:** Stop spamming

**Cordelia:** One of us

**Marvin:** No not you too

**Whizzer:** One of us

**Cordelia:** One of us

**_Marvin has removed Whizzer and Cordelia from the conversation._ **

**Trina:** Well then

**_Mendel has left the conversation._ **

**Marvin:** ? Wow thanks for the warning Mendel

**Trina:** He was traumatized by Cordelia and Whizzer trying to apparently start a cult.

**_Marvin has added Whizzer to the conversation._ **

**Whizzer:** Thank you

**Marvin:** I didn’t want to add him back he made me 

**Whizzer:** Shhhhhh

**Trina:** Okay welllll

**_Trina has left the conversation._ **

**Whizzer:** Rude

**Marvin:** How is that rude?

**Whizzer:** Idk

**Marvin:** What?

**Whizzer:** Oh my god I need to teach you text talk you fucking grandpa

**Marvin:** Hey!

**Whizzer:** Well I guess it’s just the two of us…

**Marvin:** Yeah I guess so

**Whizzer:** What do you wanna do? ;)

**Marvin:** We could play chess

**Whizzer:** boring.

**Marvin:** I don't hear you throwing out any suggestions.  


**Whizzer:** ...If you own a vacuum cleaner and you clean it, does that make _you_ the vacuum cleaner?

**Marvin:** you’re insane

**Whizzer:** I’m only asking questions like this because I’m b o r e d

**Marvin:** Maybe put the phone down and talk to me like a normal person?

**Whizzer:** Mkay grandpa

**_Whizzer has left the conversation._ **

**Marvin:** I know you can’t see this but you’re an asshole

**_Marvin has left the conversation._ **

 

**Author's Note:**

> Should I make this a multi chapter thing? Or just leave it like this?
> 
> Songs I listened to while writing this:
> 
> Bare (Bare: A Pop Opera)  
> Queen Mab (Bare: A Pop Opera)  
> Come Back (Dogfight)  
> A Summer in Ohio (The Last Five Years)  
> That’s Rich (Newsies)  
> An Invitation to Sleep in My Arms (A New Brain)  
> Pandemonium (The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee)  
> Positive (Legally Blonde)  
> Light My Candle (RENT)  
> I'm Breaking Down (In Trousers)  
> Who I'd Be (Shrek)
> 
> Follow Me On Things  
> Tumblr: elderfisherprice  
> Instagram: elderfisherprice  
> Twitter: eld_fisherprice  
> Snapchat: mcpriceleytho


End file.
